Daytime Food Network at a Glance

Actually, I didn’t glance.  I stared.  I was home sick and decided to just lay there and watch whatever came on the Food channel.  I observed a few things…  not just the food, but did I actually learn anything and what sets these guys apart from each other? 

Emeril Lagasse
Thoughts – What’s up with the set and the live band?  Is this the Tonight show or what?
Food – A little messy, but I’d eat it in a heartbeat.  Evidently, the food isn’t enough.  You have to have entertainment, too.
I Learned – Cajun spice can go on virtually everything.

Michael Chiarello
Thoughts – He’s more mellow than I remembered him.  He used to love himself so much it made me sick.  I do have to say, however, his romantic dinner for two for $20 is a load of crap.  If you went the the grocery store with $20 you couldn’t have even bought the ingredients for the dessert.  OK, if you could buy two tablespoons of Frangelica then maybe…
Food – Good quality ingredients.  Simple but interesting.  Worth watching.
I Learned – Zucchini Saltimboca.  And I never thought of “make ahead” as including scooping ice cream and grating chocolate for a sundae the day before your meal. 

Robin Miller 
Thoughts – This woman’s caffiene or energy drink intake must be insane.  Her show seems like a slight of hand magician’s thing.  Move and talk fast and no one will notice that you’re dipping grilled shrimp into coconut soup instead of a dipping sauce.
Food – Way sucky.  The more you really look at what she’s making, the more you realize it probably tastes awful.
I Learned – If you open your eyes really wide that people might believe you know what you’re talking about.  How come all these women hosting cooking shows look anorexic?

Paula Dean
Thoughts – Less cackling than in shows of days gone by.  She didn’t put her huge diamond rings into raw ground beef or anything.  It kills me when she does that.
Food – Sorry, cold shredded cheddar cheese on top of everything doesn’t sound that good.  Neither does a cup of white chocolate chips melted in 4 cups of half and half with a little vanilla.  Yuck.  White chocolate isn’t really even chocolate is it?
I Learned – Paula thinks it’s OK to cook omelette ingredients in a plastic bag in boiling water.  Grody.  Let’s have some Eggo’s to go with it!

Giada DiLaurentis
Thoughts – She is so porn star.  The music in the background isn’t as porn as it used to be.  Still, are we talking cleavage or food?
Food – Looks good and simple, like Italian food should be.  But, dessert pasta?  Really?  Barf.
I Learned – I need that pasta rolling thingie for my Kitchen Aid mixer.

Rachel Ray
Thoughts – Is she part elf?  Her kitchen looks like a cartoon.  Does anyone really use a bowl to throw their trash into?  Why doesn’t she have a trash can?  Did she really just say “It’s hard for me to keep my hands off the sausage”?  I wish she wouldn’t make up things to say like EVOO and Stewp.  It makes me want to hit her.
Food – Questionable
I Learned – Nothing

Ina Garten
Thoughts – I love Ina.  She’s elegant.  She looks like a real person.  She even teared up a little when she was cutting onions.  I do that!  I question how much she is into her husband.  But, hey, nothing wrong with that huh?
Food – Simple, delicious food.  She makes me hungry.
I Learned – Buttermilk in mashed potatoes sounds great!

Sandra Lee
Thoughts – I love to hate her.  I don’t care about what she does fo charity or anything.  She creeps me out big time.
Food – Are you kidding?  Semi-homemade.  How about semi-disgusting.  Her cocktails are OK sometimes.  Though today was just bottled Starbucks cappucino with vodka in it.  Could be worse.
I Learned – Even the word “tablescape” scares me.

Bobby Flay
Thoughts – Thank God, a dude show again, finally.  All this babe-food was wearing me out.
Food – All grilled all the time.  And again, a cocktail.  (I wish I was feeling a little better!)
I Learned – Everything, because I don’t cook on a grill. 

So ended my day of food show watching.  I feel up to date now.  I probably won’t need to do that again for a while!

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9 responses to “Daytime Food Network at a Glance

  1. oh, you totally hit this on the head, but you missed Ann Burrell…LOL…i’ve got a cute story about her for you…

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  2. Oh, and her is my take too…

    E – really? BAM and cajun food needs a band; and is cajun food really that interesting; i love it, but dont think absolutely every thing needs tabasco on it; now some sirracha sauce is a different story…

    MC – is still stuck on him self; had to see it yourself to understand; but i really like everything he does…

    RM – dont know who this is; dont think i need to…lol

    PD – nails on a chalk board; my mother and grandmother have always cooked like this forever and better in my opinion too; guess why i dont find her that interesting; now that unmarried son of hers is a different story 😉

    GD – now whats wrong with a little food porn??!!!???

    RR – was good; OPRAH got a hold of her, now she is just a marketing corporate machine, who claims she is still poor; maybe thats why i think mostly everything she makes now is one step above cut up hot dogs in ketchup over underdone noodles; she’s over compensating to try and relate to, well you know, the chef in the mobile home…LMAO

    IG – shes married to that rich husband of hers (think he ran CHASE forever) – i really really like her; but everyone of her guy friends is gay and living in the hamptons and it just totally cracks me up. Her Beef Buerignon (sp?) is the bomb diggity!!!

    SL – i watch her because she can make one hell of a mean cocktail – helps to deal with i am sure all those brothers and sisters she has to put up with and support; and you arent the only one scared of tablescapes (ugh, shudder!!)

    BF – always glad to learn something new to throw on the grill; Bar Americane in NYC is great!!

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  3. Ina’s voice has soothing qualities and her food is top notch as well.

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  4. Burrell didn’t come on during this daytime lineup. I still haven’t seen her. When is she on?

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  5. Hopes that you are feeling better! Can’t believe you sat in front of the TV that long!

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  6. Margie you crack me up, you so hit every single on of them true! My opinions are exactly the same as yours!

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  7. Margie-you are so right on!!!!

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  8. Sometimes I watch Gina for a few minutes, but I usually put it on mute.

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  9. So glad I found your blog. Right on about most of them. Unfortunately, none of them are professional actors so they irritate the Hell out of most of us.

    FYI, Ann Burrell’s midwest accent and gutteral sounds drive me up a wall. She actually bites her words.
    Detest Rachel Ray. Can’t even watch her. There is a website called rachelraysucks. Hilarious.
    I like Paula Deen and her recipies but she seduces every man who is on her show. It’s disgusting and embarrassing and if I were her husband, I would be humiliated.

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